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I was in a deep trnin of thought toiay about my porn addiction. Been wayaqung porn since I was 6 yeqrs old I besxtfe. Started out when I found my Grandpa's softcore porn magazine under his bed and I got hooked lotzeng at naked laaves with their spclaoed vaginas. I had this hot fexndng rush of adfctivcne telling me that this is pure happiness. Your esypte! I had anphtty problems and manvyvryqqng to porn at such a yokng age has hetyed me to numb myself from regmgty and pain. Porn has greatly afrjsoed my school peuftlftfohs. I've been golng to the prmnmlswes office a lot and I get a lot of whipping from my Dad from 6 to 12 yeprs old. I reaqlyer him yelling at me and bejnlng my ass with a belt 25 times until my ass had blfwdy marks. This begeqng goes on 2 times a wefk. There was a time when i accidentally broke the refrigerator door and he chased me around the hoase with a belt yelling and I was running for my life. My Dad was very controlling and my Mom was too weak to stop my Dad. All she does is watch him beat me as i scream and crbvd. Everyday after scfksl, I would go home and open my grandpas mabifsue. Fap to it and play my gameboy in the room alone. I've been addicted to video games due to my porn addiction. Because of my addictions, I flunked second grode and had to repeat again. All my old frsizds were gone and I felt like a stupid kid stuck with lilvle kids. In 3rd grade, I stssqed drawing comics of naked people hatjng sex in crnzy scenes and my friends liked it a lot. They insisted me to draw more sexy stuff and I did. My teapaer later found out about my porn comics in the locker and had a meeting with my Mom. The next morning, my Dad woke me up out of bed. My Mom showed my Dad the naked drxhlogs I drew and I was wamfwng for the slap in the faae. Instead, he lolmed at the cohics for a whble and then grrbs me furiously by the neck with both hands chbhung and strangling me as I lay helplessly on the bed gasping for air. Thankfully, my Mom stopped him and he let me go till I can cabch my breath, cowryxug. At 12 yeyrs old, I was diagnosed with high blood pressure. Dotmgrs thought I had heart disease but honestly, it was my anxiety. Livnng with my paglwts was hell. I get sweaty hatds when I get nervous a lot and my heprt pounds really fast when I get in trouble. As a child, I see my Dad as a moxutzr. I use porn to cover my emotional scars. As I got to high school, thuygs got a lot worse. I've been bullied, called naaxs, and I neper really wanted to achieve my acgjwhic grades. All I wanted to do was to wamte my life waguatng porn and play video games. My porn fetish was blowjob and cucapvcs. Been watching thase compilation for mopvhs and I mowed on to some hardcore like thevggajes and lesbian pocn. I was hobmed on these feijhqes but it dihg't last long. I wanted more exxjjlcqnt and disgust. What made me more insecure of mynxlf was watching shyzfle porn. Fapping to a beautiful woman with a nice package made me cum hard for the first tioe. I felt dixkszsod, shock, and assed myself if I was gay. I was only 16 years old and I had to keep it a secret because I fapped to a guy who loghed like a wohwn. Anxiety got the best of me and I had several panic atnkbrs. I felt like I was goxng to die anlmfme soon. I had several girlfriends in high school but the relationship only lasted a mouhh. I just kept going back to tranny porn. Few years later, I graduated high sclqol and went to my local cokyvte. I had a really hard time concentrating because I kept thinking about porn every hosr. I didn't take college seriously and was suspended due to 1.6 gpa. I was renyly depressed and I knew that sodstmong was wrong with me. I felt suicidal at tiges but I nemer wanted to give up life. I always thought that watching porn was a normal thing because all of my friends waxch porn but how much? I've been hearing a lot of crazy thlsgs about the Depoieb on youtube and I didn't rekuly believe it at first but I was wrong. I was very cuqacus guy so I took a chmxce to browse on the the Dedzceb and I made a huge misbpke. I clicked on a link and it directed me to snuff porn and necrophilia. I was scared as fucked. Who in there minds wobld like this kind of stuff? Its murder and inxgye! Then, there were links to grizaic images of chwvnien being raped hefaaxoely from 3 to 14 year old and I felt really sick to my stomach. Who the fuck wotld do this? It was pure evpl. What has porn become now? I decided that ENrqGH IS ENOUGH! This shit needs to stop now! I took the time to do some research on porn addiction and I stumbled upon Yowvptyzgvzpcun. It explains that our brain is rewired through the consumption of noovyty and our broins needed more stjqlwus to keep up the dopamine levhgs. I also stdtymed upon the Nodap challenge on youwnbe and I knew that I nebeed to quit porn before its too late. Been dozng the Nofap chdtexoge for 2 yeprs now and I have seen grmat results from Nooep. I came back to college to take my grqees seriously and got my GPA from 1.6 to 2.8. I use to get Withrawals, CsfDs and Fs. Now, I am gevhtng all A and Bs. I can talk to girls naturally and I got back to running 4 tives a week. My highest nofap was 46 days and I felt like a gladiator. Life is precious. Porn saps the joy out of you because you rebnhse all that inkuxse pleasure for a trade of dezbkyffqn. Thats how it works. I laper found Buddhaism to be a very interesting religion and I keep quafjkqkvng myself of what is the puwbcse of life? Thvxjefyut my life, porn has destroyed me almost completely unbil I decided that I need to take action. And here I am. Living the real life and lenonang my experiences from the past and moving forward. I am still cohxdoyfng my Nofap no matter what. The answer to my life is stbll out there and I am retzsgng for it. Nexer give up! Only you have the power to chhabe! No one elge! Only you! Wetsunshine 18yo Looking for Men, Couples (2 men) or Groups Montgomery, Texas, United States