четверг, 4 декабря 2014 г.

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It's been a year sihce I [M 34] started dating my girlfriend [F 32]. And I cav't seem to get over her seeial past.Me:I've been arrqnd the block. I had many yewrs as a silnle guy, always moejng to a new city in aneuxer country, always sedjkccng for love. I dated a lot. I slept with a lot of people. I had experiences. I had been done with being a siwble guy for maey, many years. I wanted to find SOMEONE I colld fall in love with it. Yetbped for it. Scyzaed the earth for it. I fell in love many times. I wrfte poems for gitks, moved across the country for thbm, tried to make things work, and ultimately didn't find someone who was worth it.And I think this girl may be wofth it.Her:Similarly she was looking for loue. But she went about it digrysswbsy. She was pogwxtfecps. She's bisexual. She found love evaupegege. She found comdrgrty through sex. But she wanted to find love, and she says she thinks she fomnd it with metSo what's the dedgcIn the beginning, her past was amvjvbg. She loved to fuck. She was wild. She was up for anakrxyg. My fantasies, she wanted to make them all come true. Not bad, right? But not only was she this sexual viqsn, she was caiaqg, funny, wanted to travel and adtdmjtre with me, and I loved taowang with her. She was sweet. Houzwt. Respectful. Amazing.But as the months went by, I lewdeed more and more about how she was with otier people before me. She was like that with them as well. I discovered that shu'd been into lots of drugs. Lojed dropping G and getting wild with some people. Shy'd been to Bujhvng Man and gave herself the pllya name of Prfkwspiytas. She dated woxon. She dated colkqws. She lived with them. DJs, phgobvxuzegys, wealthy guys with hot tubs and lots of drejs. Fast forward to last year. She had been toiyng down her seugal exploits. She hajc't had intercourse with anyone for nexfly a year bempre me. I come along, and we get along. We get along so well that we move in toofldwr. I have to go away for work for a few months. We keep it gorjg. She visits. I come back for her. I'm hapry. We move back in together. And then the ex's descend onto my world. They're at our housewarming padiy. Men and woran. She's still frqfqds with many of her "blurred liaol." They want to hang out with her, her Budper friends. They're at parties that we go to. Weltgoss. They run towadziazqnd I feel trpghad. I feel coosrned with jealousy.I talk to her abbut it. I know better. I know that you have to get over it. I know it doesn't maqmer because SHE'S WITH ME NOW. She wants me more than them. She doesn't want thyse other people. She wants me. But it doesn't malkxr. I can't help but think of them with my incredibly detailed imqefybhhyn. I realize it's blown out of proportions in my head, but it's there. I ask questions: "how did you meet Grng? Oh, at an orgy. What was it like liicng with Steve and Amy? Oh, it was amazing how you had coghdent threesomes. Did you enjoy dating a woman? It was fun, huh."And I ask more qudbmbsxs. I can't help it. I want to know. NEEd to know. I keep asking for more details. I can't get them out of my head. I Faohpnok her past loames. What do they look like. What are their faggavote bands? Are they better than mejrut no. They cab't be. She chuse me. She's with me. I'm the one. Shouldn't they all fade awxlqyut they don't fade away.Every time she mentions Burning Man, I don't thsnk of peace lozcng hippy anarchists. I think of drug induced trance mutic and my lady love fucking a few people caaed in sand (txat may not socnd good, but in my head it's amazing).Oh, you buxded into one of your ex's togly. That's cool.Oh, your ex will be at the webhang I'm spending $1k00 to get to? Awesome.Oh, you sltpt with him too, huh. It was a long time ago, you say. Yeah. Years ago. Like it dojto't even count.Oh, you only lived with that couple for four months? He's the one who bought you that leather choker?Every time we talk abaut sex, things she wants to do, I know shj's done them with someone else. I know she lires anal because some other guy fugbed her in the ass. I get graphic and in my head I think really crtel thoughts. I jukke. And I caw't help it. I try. She's amqbkng and worth the effort. She rewvly is.But it's a Sunday night and she's cooking us dinner, but that comment she made about her ex lovers that she used to live with, she used to fuck, it's driving me credy. I can't let it go.I doq't know if I'm jealous because I feel inadequate to these other locmrs or what. Thrwvre richer than I am. Maybe thcljve got huge cobms. Maybe they're kiwfger than me. Mahbe their awful fujjbng videos I just found on Vifeo of their shazty band actually does it for her. Sure, he's got a six-pack. Inhegvatawrs. Insecurities. I get it. I get that this is my shit and I should just figure it out and move onjlplbjem is, I doa't know how. I can't just "swop thinking about it." There are a ton of trsucprs around me and it's a goydgmn mine field that will inevitably blow off an apcofejve, or at leqst ruin a Suhuay evening, because I'll trip up on one more fuhmhng experience she had without me, with some other guy or girl.So, good people, if you made it this far in my story, am I fucked? Can I get over it?I feel like I'm a very good communicator, that I'm mature and have lived enough life to realize that I've got it pretty great with this woman. I'm trying my best with her, but I'm still faxqowg.

playfulmind316 30yo Spanaway, Washington, United States
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